The Smudger Read online

  Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Map

  Part One

  1

  2

  3

  4

  5

  6

  7

  8

  9

  10

  11

  12

  13

  14

  15

  16

  17

  18

  19

  20

  21

  22

  23

  24

  25

  26

  27

  28

  29

  30

  Part Two

  31

  32

  33

  34

  35

  36

  37

  38

  39

  40

  41

  42

  43

  44

  45

  46

  47

  48

  49

  50

  51

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  ABOUT ANGELINE TREVENA

  Signed Paperback Giveaway

  The Smudger

  Angeline Trevena

  Bogus Caller Press

  Copyright © 2018 Angeline Trevena

  All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be copied or transmitted in any form, electronic or otherwise, without express written consent of the publisher or author.

  Cover art by Oliviaprodesign

  Published by Bogus Caller Press

  www.boguscallerpress.co.uk

  Publisher's note:

  The Smudger is a work of fiction. All names, characters, and places are the product of the author's imagination, used in fictitious manner. Any resemblances to actual persons, places, locales, events, etc. are purely coincidental.

  Part One

  1

  KIOTO

  I peaked my hand across my forehead and squinted at the wallowing city ahead. I didn’t want to be here. I avoided the cities when I could. I liked the cool, quiet woods, the desolate moors, the vast, empty expanses of land where I could almost believe that I was entirely alone in the world. But, sometimes, venturing into these stinking hell-holes was an unavoidable chore.

  It wasn’t even the city itself that bothered me. In a city I could disappear, I could move around almost completely unseen. People didn’t want to see my kind, and so, they didn’t. They had become so adept at ignoring us that we existed only in blind spots.

  What bothered me was the colonies. Half-built shanty towns that clung to the edges of the cities like unwelcome pustules. So desperate to belong, to be accepted, but they would never be viewed as anything other than blemishes. If it could, the city would have picked them off like leeches and tossed them back to the swamps and marshlands it believed they came from.

  It was in one of these colonies that I had been born, grown up, been educated. Learnt how to be a memory trader; taking people’s unwanted memories to sell onto someone who might make use of them. I knew all the colony ways, and I didn’t want to be a part them. My colony had been torn apart, and I’d never found anywhere else that felt even remotely like a home.

  But the two sausages wrapped in a piece of half-stale bread I’d had for breakfast was the last of my food, and now, already late afternoon, hunger had won out.

  I hitched my bag further onto my back, bowed my head and trudged on towards civilisation.

  I’d barely stepped into the colony before a child slipped a hand into mine. She looked up at me, grinning out from under a mop of curls.

  “What’s your name?” she asked.

  “Kioto.” I replied.

  The girl twisted her head around and called out to someone I couldn’t see. “She is! I told you so!”

  She turned her eager eyes back to me. “Are you a trader?”

  I pushed back my hair to show her the traditional scars that marked my face. That and my name were the only things my parents had ever given me, and both of them marked me as what I was.

  Another two children joined us; a girl and a boy.

  “Did you see them?” the boy asked.

  The first girl nodded enthusiastically, her hair bouncing back and forth. “She showed me.” Her chest swelled. I sneered. It was hardly something to be proud of.

  “What colony are you from?”

  I thought for a moment. Where was I from? Okaporo was long gone, and if these children had heard of it, it wouldn’t have been pleasant stories. And I would never claim to be from Kagosaka. They never claimed me as one of their own, so I wasn’t going to extend that courtesy.

  “I don’t belong to a colony,” I replied.

  I watched the look of confusion crease her face. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean I don’t belong to a colony. I’m a wandering trader.”

  “But all traders belong to a colony,” said the boy.

  “Why won’t you tell us?” the second girl said. “Is it a secret?”

  “Maybe she’s a spy,” the boy offered.

  “I’m not a spy. I just don’t belong to a colony. You can do that, you know.”

  The questions came thick and fast then, and I soon found myself surrounded by a small crowd of children ranging from toddlers to teenagers.

  “Where do you live?”

  “How do you find jobs?”

  “What do you eat?”

  “Were you banished?”

  “Are you a rogue?”

  “Do the High still watch over you?”

  “Do you still perform the Grace?”

  “Yes, I perform the Grace,” I said, a little too sharply. The children drew back as one. “The High still watch over me, and they always will. No matter where I sleep at night.”

  “And they always know where you are?”

  “Of course they do.” A teenage girl answered that question for me, and the whole group quietened. “They know everything. They see everything. They see right into our souls. There’s no hiding from them.” She slapped the enquirer across the back of the head. “You need to pay more attention in your classes.”

  The boy in question rubbed his cranium. “I do, I know.”

  “Then you’ll also know that the High know she’s abandoned her colony, abandoned the true path, and that her soul will pay for that for all eternity.” She focussed her sharp eyes on me. “Isn’t that right?”

  I shrugged. “If that’s what you believe.”

  “That is the truth. Your colony would never abandon you.”

  I cocked my head. Little did she know. “Then you stick to that. You have your path, and I have mine. Let’s be happy with that.”

  She took hold of my wrist then, and we all stopped walking. “There is only one path,” she said.

  “I suggest you let go of me,” I said, trying to sound as menacing as I could. The truth was, this girl terrified me. Her unfaltering belief, her blinkered self-righteousness, her influence over the others. I suspected the colony’s brood mother was her grandmother, or great grandmother. She scared me because I saw, in her, the reflection of who I was supposed to be. Who I would have been made into if anyone had cared enough to do it.

  “I hope you’re making our visitor feel welcome.” At the sound of that voice, the children scattered. Even the girl released her grip on my arm and turned, hands folded in front of her, head bowed.

  The brood mother pushed the girl aside and slipped her hand into the crook of my elbow, drawing me to one side.

  “I think we’d better talk in private,” she said. She steered me towards one of the buildings. She moved a beaded curtain to one side, the wooden clacking of i
t like static in my brain, and gestured for me to go inside.

  If there had been a catalogue of traditional furnishings for a brood mother’s home, this would have been one of the pages in it.

  Against one wall stood her altar, kitted out with everything an altar should have. Arced around the back was a line of twelve stones; representing each member of the High. Hung behind them was the embroidered image of the setting sun. Or the rising sun perhaps. To be honest, I’d never been certain as to which it was supposed to represent. I guess it all depended on your point of view.

  Everything else was present and correct, lined up perfectly. The bowl of water placed in the north, the sprig of heather in the west, the rabbit pelt in the south, and in the east, the pebble. These things represented the four sanctities: life, roots, family, and influence.

  The floor was covered in several overlapping rugs; thick and intricately patterned. There were a number of large cushions scattered around, each sporting a fringe of coloured tassels. I could see how that girl had become so self-righteous. The colony could be held up as a shining example of how to do things properly.

  The brood mother was pouring me a tea before I could politely refuse. I hated the stuff, always had, it tasted like it had been dredged from the bottom of a stagnant pool. But it was tradition, and so, when she offered me the small bowl, I took it with a smile and a nod.

  She raised her own bowl to me. “Ever watchful,” she said.

  “Ever watchful,” I repeated, although that phrase had come to mean something completely different to me over the years.

  I closed my eyes and took a sip of the steaming liquid, thankful that the bowls were only small. The tea wasn’t drunk to quench thirst, it was drunk simply because things had always been done that way. After drinking the dreadful stuff, people tended to open a bottle of wine, or hand out the beers. Maybe everyone found it as distasteful as I did. The difference was, I didn’t see the point in doing something unpleasant simply because of tradition.

  The brood mother gestured for me to sit on one of the cushions, and I sank to the floor. I gulped the rest of my tea down and handed her the empty bowl. She looked at it for a moment before taking it.

  “Passing through?” she asked.

  “Looking for a job. My purse is a little light. Well, empty, in fact.”

  “Then we better do what we can to see you on your way quickly then.”

  She wasn’t offering her help out of kindness, or solidarity for her people. She was simply keen to get rid of me.

  “I’m sorry about talking to the kids,” I said. “I got somewhat ambushed.”

  “You shouldn’t fill their heads with ridiculous ideas.”

  “I was simply answering their questions.”

  “With radical, rebellious notions.”

  I couldn’t help but smile. “Just because my view is different, it doesn’t make it rebellious.”

  “We are a close-knit colony. We rely on one another. That may be something you don’t understand, but it is something we promote. Something we teach to those youngsters. You may have just undone years of teachings.”

  I sighed. “I hardly think—”

  “Children are sponges. You’re a novelty, and that’s exciting to them. Attractive even. You offer them an alternative way to view the world and, at best, they get confused. At worse, they get dangerous ideas about how things could be.”

  “They should be thinking about the way things could be. That’s how change happens. That’s how we move forward. How we evolve.”

  The brood mother pressed her lips together. “Don’t think I haven’t heard about you. I know exactly who you are, Kioto. While my heart aches for your past, I cannot condone your present. And your presence is not welcome here.”

  I nodded. This was hardly a new experience. I’d been dragged into the houses of so many brood mothers, been asked to leave from so many colonies. I was impressed by how many ways they knew to politely say ‘you’re not welcome here’.

  “Believe me, I have no intention of staying. Like I said, I’m looking for a job, and then I’ll be on my way.”

  “I’ll get someone to take you into the city, show you where the exchange is.”

  “And make sure I don’t come back, eh?”

  She huffed.

  I pushed myself to my feet and swung my bag back over my shoulder. “Fine. Thanks for your help.”

  “And next time, you’ll know where it is. So you won’t need to come here and ask, will you?”

  I rolled my eyes. She was certainly keen to get her message across. “Of course not. Thanks for your hospitality.”

  Outside, a single gesture from the brood mother brought a woman hurrying over. Her hair was tightly plaited back from her face to proudly show off her scars.

  “Take Kioto to the exchange for me.”

  They nodded a silent understanding to one another.

  “Thanks again,” I said. As I walked away I couldn’t help calling “see you again soon” over my shoulder.

  We walked in silence for some time before curiosity finally overcame.

  “Kioto?” the woman asked. “As in Kioto from…?” She drifted off, it was a sentence people rarely wanted to finish.

  I helped her out. “From Okaporo, yes, that’s me. It appears my reputation precedes me once again.”

  She placed a hand over her heart. “My heart aches for you.”

  I nodded politely. I was fed up of hearing it. And it wasn’t as if it was ever truly meant. That’s why I never introduced myself, why I never told anyone where I was from. First I got the look of sympathy, then that flash of fear when they realised they had to say something that sounded sincere. Luckily, there was always a default response to use. Memory traders were good at that; creating scripts so that no one ever had to actually say something from the heart.

  “Is it true? That you don’t belong to a colony?”

  “It is.”

  “How does that work?”

  “I go where I want. I sleep where I can. I eat when I can. And I work when I need to. It’s far less complicated.”

  “I admire you.”

  I looked at her. “You admire me?”

  She nodded. “You’re so brave. And you’re free. Totally free.”

  I laughed. “I guess your brood mother sent the wrong person with me. Remember your pebble? Don’t let me put a nick in that nice smooth surface.”

  “I’m afraid I don’t have much of a smooth surface left. I probably never had one. I ran with the rogues for a while.”

  I stopped and stared at her. “Wait. What?”

  “It’s true. I’m still not entirely certain which side I want to be on.”

  “Look, I hate colony life, but there’s a big difference between—”

  “It’s so romantic,” she cut in. “Being rebellious. Being free.”

  “Romantic?” My voice squeaked out of my tight throat. Memories fizzled in my brain, rising back to the surface, piercing through every attempt I made to bury them. “Romantic?” I repeated.

  “Well, I know that they—” She clamped her hand over her mouth. “I’m so sorry,” she spluttered through her fingers. “I can’t believe I just...”

  I placed my hand on her chest. “You can save your scripted gestures and your rehearsed sentiments. If you think having everyone you ever loved or trusted massacred is romantic then...then...” There weren’t any words for this. “I’ll find the exchange myself.”

  2

  SENETSU

  The chair creaked underneath me as I leant back and closed my eyes against the glare of the afternoon sun. It was just an old garden chair scavenged from somewhere. The seat sported a few frayed holes, and the frame was rusted at every joint, but in a place where everyone seemed to prefer sitting on the ground, it was a rare luxury.

  As was this. A sunny afternoon with nothing to do. There always seemed to be some kind of chore or favour to be done, and if anyone spotted me in a moment of idleness, they always quickly
found me something to occupy my time.

  I opened my eyes a crack, filtering the sunlight through my lashes, and watched my girls play. I’d managed to trade an extraction job for a doll’s house and a handful of dolls. There wasn’t much furniture for it, and we’d had to make clothes for half of the dolls to protect their modesty, but it was the best toy they’d ever had, and they’d played with it endlessly. It was the envy of every other child in the colony, and their absolute pride.

  I closed my eyes again. I deserved a moment of idleness before they started arguing again. Separately, they were angels. But whenever they were together, arguments quickly flared.

  “Mama.”

  I opened one eye. Kioto was tugging at my skirt.

  “Yes, Kioto?”

  “When are lessons starting today?”

  “There are no lessons today. Remember?”

  “Why?”

  I sat up. The scars over her eye were still red, but they’d fade in time. I’d hated doing it, but it was my duty, and the colonies placed a heavy importance on duties.

  “Because Miya and the other rooks are having a meeting with Narata. I told you this morning.”

  “What are they having a meeting about?”

  “I don’t know. But when it’s important that we do know, we’ll be told.”

  “Is it secret?”

  I shrugged. “I guess so.”

  “But aren’t secrets bad?”

  “Some secrets are bad. But some secrets have to be kept to protect people. That’s Narata’s job as brood mother. She has to protect us. And if that means keeping secrets, then that’s what she has to do. And we trust her, right?”

  Kioto nodded. “Right.”

  “So you can go back to playing now.”

  I leant back and closed my eyes, but I could almost hear Kioto thinking things over, and I braced myself for another question.

  “When will we find out?”

  “That’s Narata’s decision, not mine.”

  “When she tells us, will she tell us that it was what they talked about at this meeting? Otherwise, we might think it’s just new information, not secret information, and we might not realise that it’s this secret information that we’re being told. And we’ll still be waiting for that, because we won’t realise we’ve already been told it.”